I would also immediately divorce my new bride for Cybill Shepherd.

I would likewise immediately divorce my new bride for Cybill Shepherd. Courtesy of Anchor Bay Entertainment

Unstreamable is a weekly column that finds films and TV shows you can't sentinel on major streaming services in the The states.*

An exercise in white ridiculousness.

An practise in white ridiculousness. Courtesy of Anchor Bay Amusement

Kelly Corcoran certainly feels like the sun in Elaine May'southward The Heartbreak Child. She's hot, piercing, emits a stiff gravitational pull, and her attention seems life-giving. When nosotros showtime glimpse Kelly (Cybill Shepherd), information technology'due south during a blazing morn on Miami Embankment after the hapless and newly wednesday Lenny (Charles Grodin) catches her eye. She stands over him equally he lays in the sand, her blonde head eclipsing the lord's day every bit she teases, "You lot're lying in my spot."

It'southward this breathtaking archway that makes me empathize why the sporting goods salesman feels an overwhelming urge to ditch his helpmate, Lila (played by May'due south daughter Jeannie Berlin), for this new Midwestern queen. The newly matrimonial couple drove down from New York City to get to Miami Embankment, which has been less than marital bliss. Having a short courtship, it'due south merely on their honeymoon that Lenny realizes his messy, egg salad-loving, sunburnt wife may not be The I for him. And so, as het-dude soapbox goes, Lenny has to jump ship. And what better place to country than a immature blonde with a disposition as hot equally the sun?

Based on a Bruce Jay Friedman short story with a screenplay past Neil Simon, The Heartbreak Kid is a gleefully comedic look at male logical fallacies and white ridiculousness as Lenny tries to extricate himself out of a situation he put himself in. Attempt as he might, women cannot be returned or exchanged or substituted in for i another. But in that location's a sort of perverse delight in watching Lenny grovel his fashion through the situation, right into another heartbreak. JASMYNE KEIMIG

Available for rental at Scarecrow Video and Netflix DVD.

***


Back when VH1 was music first.

Back when VH1 was "music first." CB

They said at that place would exist live divas, and they delivered live divas. This blockbuster late-90s upshot featured 5 leading divas—Celine Dion! Mariah Carey! Aretha Franklin! Gloria Estefan! Shania Twain!—along with other guest divas and presenters—Carole King! Jennifer Aniston! Susan Sarandon!—in a live charity concert focused on raising money for VH1's Save The Music Foundation. Hillary and Bill Clinton show upwards in the start act, to give you a sense of how mainstream this affair was. It launched annual spin-offs, and the post-obit yr'south issue was crawling with starfuckers—notably, Donald Trump, fresh off a divorce and grasping his new girlfriend, Melania. (He'south never far backside a trend, always fix to bite.)

The concert's performances accept fabricated their way effectually YouTube for years, but information technology'south worth watching in its entirety because if "diva" is a genre, this was a genre-defining effect. It opens with Mariah Carey singing "Make Information technology Happen" backed by a gospel choir. The beginning time I watched, I think I got knocked out during an electric entrance from Gloria Estefan and woke upward to Celine Dion singing a tribute to the Titanic with a slamming rendition of "My Heart Will Go on" ft. live flute. Divas, indeed. CHASE BURNS

Available for rental at Scarecrow Video and Netflix DVD.


***

A riot grrrl afterschool special.

A riot grrrl afterschool special. Courtesy of Fine Line Features

I stumbled on All Over Me while watching the VHS previews for Gregg Araki's Nowhere. Both released by Fine Line Features, these two films share surface-level similarities (queer teens, killer soundtracks, violence, etc.). But All Over Me is decidedly more serious in tone, written by Sylvia Sichel and directed by her belatedly sister, Alex. Alex had initially received grant money to brand a picture show most the riot grrrl movement that was still going strong at the time. But Sylvia steered the script to focus instead on the friendship betwixt two working-class teen girls.

The xv-year-old girls live in Hell's Kitchen with relatively absent-minded parents. Claude (Alison Folland) is harboring romantic feelings for her best friend and bandmate Ellen (Tara Subkoff), who is obsessed with her shitty fellow Mark (Cole Hauser). Typical. As Ellen gets wound up in drugs and criminal activities with Marking, Claude starts to explore her sexuality at lesbian bars stuffed with anarchism grrrl types. A murder of an acquaintance throws all their lives and relationships in a loop, as Claude gets involved with lesbian pink-haired guitarist Lucy (theeeeee Leisha Hailey).

The picture show documents the nuances in girl friendship at a delicate age that sometimes revels in syrupy, afterschool special type drama. Merely it's a gay, anarchism grrrl-lite teen picture show that captures a bit of the contemporaneous civilisation and is well worth a watch. If non just for the scene of Claude losing information technology to Patti Smith'due south "Pissing in a River"—poetry shit. JASMYNE KEIMIG

Bachelor for rental at Scarecrow Video.

***

3(D) sisters from Seattle.

3(D) sisters from Seattle. Courtesy of Paramount

I first met Those Redheads from Seattle a long means away from Seattle, in a thrift store in New Orleans. At the dorsum of the shop was an original promotional display for the film, the same prototype equally in a higher place. It took upwardly an entire wall. I had half a listen to buy it, but there was no way the giant cardboard women would fit in a suitcase dorsum to Seattle, the city where the redheads and their film get-go debuted.

Those Redheads from Seattle premiered at the Paramount Theatre in Seattle in 1953. It'due south believed to exist the first 3D musical, included in the kickoff cursory "Golden Age of 3D movies," although most people have only seen Those Redheads in 2D. Information technology's a curious mishmash, co-written by men who specialized in westerns and B sci-fi movies, so information technology's a little tonally uneven. It follows a adult female who brings her iv unmarried daughters (three of them redheads) to Alaska during the Gold Blitz, hoping to find the family's father, a newspaper publisher who'due south missing. The girls autumn on hard times and pin to a life in burlesque, which is where the musical part comes in. The musical numbers are robust and fun, although there aren't enough of them.

Those Redheads had a resurgence in Seattle in 2017, when the film premiered at SIFF after the 3D Pic Annal accomplished an extensive restoration of it. The oddball gem is now available once more on DVD and Blu-ray via Kino Lorber. Someone book a 3D screening of it and invite me, delight and thanks. Hunt BURNS

Available for rental at Scarecrow Video. There's also an okay copy on YouTube, merely yous know the rules.*


*Unstreamable means nosotros couldn't find it on Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, or whatsoever of the other 300+ streaming services available in the United States. We also couldn't find it available for hire or purchase through platforms like Prime Video or iTunes. Yes, we know you tin find many things online illegally, but we don't consider user-generated videos, similar unauthorized YouTube uploads, to be streamable.